This article was originally published on BlueGazette
There's something extremely exciting about learning that someone you care for is expecting. But when the announcement of a new baby is posted publicly, on social media for all to see - so many things can go wrong. From forgetting to spell-check to making all your Facebook friends feel the second-hand embarrassment - here are some of the most cringeworthy expecting announcements from new parents.
Pictures That Aren't a Renaissance Painting but Should Be
Quite a lot to unpack here. First of all, the entire setup is just giving off major cringe vibes - why are they all sitting together on the floor, near the toilet? And with the baby drinking milk, too! Whose idea was this?
People online seemed to agree that this was quite cringey, and this photo was shared many, many times. We're not sure if this is the "best pregnancy announcement ever!!" as the text seems to allege, but it's definitely up there on our "most awkward announcements ever" list.
The Spelling in This Pregnancy Announcement Is Criminal
Everything in this picture, including the text, is completely wrong and messed up. Apparently, according to the comments under the original post, the father was supposed to serve time in the clink for some DUIs. Not something to brag about on Facebook for the whole world to see.
But if we let that one pass, we can move on to literally everything else that's presented here. The awkwardly wrong spelling of the word "disturbing," the makeshift prisoner outfit... Just-- no. A total cringefest.
This Name Announcement Is a Real Tragediegh in the Making
We have to stop with the letterboards already. We've let them go on long enough to the point where they mean absolutely nothing now. Yeah, at first they were cool, and very aesthetically pleasing to look at. But now-- Well, just look at it.
We can't even try and read this one out - we tried and started smelling burnt toast. Where does the name start and where does it end? Do these letters even make up a name? A word? There are so many letters! If anyone knows what the child's name is, please hit us up.
This Photo-Op Was (Not) Approved by Any Doctor
People would do a whole lot just to get noticed on social media, won't they? Take this woman for example, who posted her pregnancy photos while covered in bees. When she's allergic to them. To quote Nicolas Cage in our favorite movie, Wicker Man, "Ahhh, not the bees!!! Ahhh!!"
Anyway, she claims that this idea was "approved by her doctor," but we highly doubt any doctor would allow something like this. She also claimed these were about 10,000 bees, which we also doubt - it looks like quite a bit less. Regardless, for the sake of the bay-bee, we hope she makes better parenting choices in the future.
Beauty and the Beast? More Like Beauty Cease and Desist
From all of the Disney movies you could have chosen to use for announcing about your pregnancy, you chose-- Beauty and the Beast? And even if we let that one pass, why add in the prison theme on top of that?
This announcement garnered a lot of comments about how inappropriate this feels when you take it into context. Why would you add in such creepy undertones when it's supposed to be a baby? Actually, forget undertones - it's literally spelled out on her sign. This is what true cringe looks like, folks.
There Aren't Enough Words in the English Language to Describe How Gross This Is
Ugh! The more we look, the more disturbing and cringey it gets. Everything in this picture just screams eew! But this is not the worst of it - oh no - this is but one example of a whole genre of pregnancy announcements, apparently.
Yeah, there's more than just one couple who thought this was a good idea. It's just so gross - from the sign, to the poses, to the disposable insemination glove on the father's hand... This will truly change the way we look at burgers from now on.
This Is What It Looks Like When Millennials Have Kids
What you're looking at was a real idea someone had, and decided it was good enough to put out there for everyone to see. With respect, we'd like to advise them to rethink that gameplan they have going on there.
We mean, in concept this could have been cute. We like that they thought of using the fur babies as replacements for the real, future baby, but instead this just looks like a parody about millennials. If you're using the word "hooman" unironically, you're just not ready to have kids.
Hello, Santa? I Want to Return a Faulty Gift
Why is the pregnancy announcement on the Etch A Sketch? We get that it's Christmas and all, but this makes it seem like it was the kid who announced the pregnancy. And what's the meaning behind the text?
Are these Santa's elves threatening to run away on him? We honestly don't really get it. And of course, you can't have a cringey expecting announcement photo without a misspelling of one of the major words - pregnant. Sorry, PREGNAT.
Would You Like to Supersize That Order for Another 0.99?
There are a a lot of pregnancy photos comparing babies to food. Junk food, no less. This happy couple, for example, thought it was super cute to call their unborn baby a nugget. We have to wonder - if we're at nuggets now, will they grow up to be full-blown chickens? Or are the parents the chickens...?
Honestly, the whole metaphor really got away from them. We have quite a few parents-to-be who think their unborn should be measured in foodstuff, and almost all of them are extremely hard to swallow. Pun intended. Oh, and liking Chick-Fil-A is not a personality trait.
Sir, This Machine Is Not a Top Loader
Oy vey. Where do we even begin with this festival of cringe? While the concept, in thought, might have been cute - this couple chose to execute it in the most creepy, don't-show-this-to-grandma way possible.
This picture is the embodiment of strong second-hand embarrassment. The posing and the text on the letterboard are both a bit... too on the nose. We're not sure if all of your high-school friends care to hear you talk about your private matters. Let's keep the TMI to ourselves, and instead focus on the baby on the way, okay?
This Is the One Time All Teams Would Hope the Batter Misses His Shot
Well, this is just the worst ever. Like, yeah, we get it, baseball is cool and all - but just the thought process that lead to this baffles us. Even as a Halloween costume, this is just in bad taste. They probably thought it was a cute idea, maybe even thinking that the "hit a home run" joke was funny.
But in all truth, this just reads as disturbing and wrong. We don't usually agree with the old adage that puns are the lowest form of humor, but this? This doesn't even need three strikes to be out.
Hang On, So Do We Have to Wait Until the Bun Is Ready to Eat, Or..?
There's nothing wrong with celebrating the birth of your child. In fact, it's one of the best reasons out there to throw an amazing party. We're just not sure about the concept of connecting babies and a hot grill.
These expecting parents made their BBQ party into a BaByQ party, which-- Ugh. Are they cooking the baby on the BBQ? Because that's how it reads like. That's a really strong Hannibal Lecter vibe, and we're not that into it. Please, don't eat the baby, they have parents - eat them instead.
That's One Way to Let Someone Know That They're Expecting
There's nothing more tacky and played-out than the "roses are red" shtick. It's never cute when someone uses it, which makes it feel like they had zero other ideas for how they wanted to say their piece.
But this one got to us just thanks to the "We need to talk ASAP" at the bottom - what a classy way to let the father know that they're in trouble. We can just imagine what it would've been like being this couple's neighbors during that evening - assuming that they were, in fact, a couple.
Bars Are a Great Location for a Sitcom, Not So Much for a Baby
While we get how these two expecting parents thought this would be a cute, quirky idea to share with the world that they are having a baby soon - the execution of this just makes us wanna drown our sorrows in something hard.
This just feels like they straight up looked at a sitcom and wanted to replicate the setting. These expecting parents need to realize that they're going to say goodbye to their barman for the nearby future. It's all about those milk bottles now. Also, FAS is a thing, guys. At least the mom should not be drinking.
These Parents Are Going to Be a True Nightmares Before Christmas
This picture had all the potential to be a cute, "We're having a baby before Christmas" announcement... but instead it's implicating that the baby is a nightmare before even being born.
Even if they were set on the idea of making the Christmas movie reference, maybe it would've been better to choose a different movie title. We have to address the text as well. Why bother getting a board and then (poorly) photoshop the text on to it? Why not just write on the actual thing? So many questions.
You've Got a Friend in Me... Up Until You Take All the Attention Away
Yeah, that little boy is going to have a new sibling soon, but if he's Woody from Toy Story, and the new baby is Buzz... Well, sheriff, get ready to not be the favorite toy in the household any more. Probably not the best message you want to be sending to your firstborn.
Obviously, there's a big leap from posing your child with (a lot!) of toys to actually treating them as toys, but this one was just a bit too cheesy. It's not nearly as bad as the others on this list, sure, but it's still just doing too much.
Let's Stop With the Baking of Our Unborn Babies, Okay?
This picture isn't just cringey, it's also impossibly cheesy - and we're not talking cheesecake. This feels like it came straight out of a moms' Facebook group, where they all share the same mundane recipes and "life hacks" that never work.
We don't have anything against these mommy groups, mind you, but it's pictures like this that give them a bad name. It just feels so sloppy. The text on the onesie is barely even readable. We think this idea needed a bit more baking before making it to our feeds.
Please Tell Us Their Last Name Is Wiener, Oh Pretty Please
So, we guess it's a boy. Look at all these sausages just laying around the letterboard! It's super wasteful, but also quite tasteless. There are zero condiments in the picture! Well, we did say that there's a whole genre of people who choose to use food to announce their new baby.
But as you can guess, most people use sweets and other cute-sounding food, not processed fingernail "meat." Well, at least their pun worked out - if that's their last name. If it isn't, this is just unfathomable - maybe two male frat bros somehow found a way to procreate?
It's My Party and I'll Barf If I Want To
This pregnancy announcement is a little infuriating, honestly. It was so aesthetically pleasing with all the colors, and the cake... but then they had to fumble on the one-yard line by taking the picture seated next to the toilet.
We get it, pregnancy with morning sickness and whatnot - but why do we need to be reminded of that when you tell us you're expecting? We don't wanna see your bathroom floor tiles! This could have been so much cuter if the setting was just a bit better.
It's Not a Corona Baby, It's an Oktoberfest Party Leftover
Being stuck at home during quarantine made a lot of people anxious and bored, yet some happy families found a little bit of joy in being together at home. There was a sharp rise in baby announcements during these last two years, and with them also rose a new trend: Corona baby announcements.
There's something totally tacky about posing next to a six-pack to say, "Hey everyone, I'm pregnant!" And when you factor in the Covid reference it just stops being "funny ha-ha" and starts being "ugh, please don't."
If Hockey Equals Birth Control, Then They Pulled the Goalie!
Covid brought us a whole new genre of baby announcements and quarantine jokes. Almost all pictures that went up on social media during the last two years included a pun or a joke about Corona, Covid, or the long quarantine.
This picture is honestly one of the best that came out of this trend - it manages to be more cute than cringey, but still quite a weird thing to boast about. This kid better like the Tampa Bay Lightning, or else they might be cut from the family inheritance.
Oh, Wow, Congratulations, You Two Definitely Do Well When Bored
We warned you that there are going to be a strong Corona themes going on in here. People really did have a lot of free time on their hands during these past two years, and as you can see, they took to social media. Or, well, to making kids.
We think there's just something inherently cringey with boasting about having kids during the lockdown. We mean, you probably would have had the child either way, right? Right? Please say yes. So let's just drop the act and the pandemic theme already.
Never Has 'Too Much Information' Been a More Accurate Description
A farmer's crops are his own private business. And when they share pictures like this, honestly, we'd have preferred they kept them as fenced in as their prized tomatoes. This is just the worst kind of secondhand embarrassment anyone can give you.
Did they log in to Facebook, post this picture, and get supportive comments on their post? Because we're thinking grandma don't need to see stuff like this first thing in the morning, nor do your colleagues. Just, seriously, TMI.
When People Ask If It's a Boy or a Girl, But Its a Velociraptor
Well, this is unique alright. Who thought about this idea, and then went ahead and made it into reality? We can't deny that this is indeed original and unlike anything else we've ever seen, but also - why? It's the "pitter patter of little monster feet" that gets us. That's a dinosaur costume, not a monster, dummy.
Let's all just hope that this isn't the start of a new Jurassic Park, or these parents are going to feed something hungry for more than just milk. To paraphrase Dr. Ian Malcolm, they were so preoccupied with whether or not they could that they didn't stop to think if they should.
The Handmaid's Tale Is Not a Parenting 101 Guide Book
Looking at this couple's Handmaid's Tale-themed expecting pictures is deeply worrying, considering the show's dark subject matter. Unsurprisingly, the couple were blasted with negative comments after they posted this announcement/Halloween photo to their socials. Obviously, most people were upset that they chose such a grim theme to represent their relationship.
It wouldn't have been that bad if they apologized and let it go, but instead, they stood firm on their choice and called other people "overly sensitive." This is what get you on these lists, people. You remember that show is about women becoming nothing more than vessels for childbirth, right? It's literally dystopian.
Please Don't Ruin Donuts Like This
No, please, just leave the baked goods alone! It seems like most of this couple's friends didn't quite get what they were going for here. And that's perfectly understandable, because neither did we when we first saw the pic.
But apparently, a long john and a donut together results in a timbit. How? we don't really know either, but we guess that's what they were going for. The main issue, though, is that the donuts are so small and to the side of the frame - if they're the main focus of the picture, maybe put them up front next time.
Some(bunny) Once Told Me the World Is Gonna Roll Me
You know what they say about bunnies and making babies. Well, we can just hope that this couple isn't partially bunny too, and that this little bun friend is just a pet.
Is the bunny the one expecting, or are the humans taking the picture? We can't help but wonder how they staged this picture - leaving a little bunny on a bench in what seems to be a park is quite weird. Well, if the baby comes out with bunny ears, at least they can tell who the father is.
Maybe Protection Wasn't the Only Issue at Hand Here
Remember back when quarantine was still going strong, and people were stocking on toilet paper like crazy? Well, this couple will definitely never forget that, as they were left with one strong memento from those times - their child.
The pandemic sure did bring the most creative ideas out of people, but that doesn't mean that all of these ideas were good. This concept, for example, is quite cringey if you ask us. We just can't get behind basically saying your child was a mistake.
Let's Just Agree Collectively to Stop With the Arrows on T-Shirts, Ok?
There's nothing more cringeworthy than those "I'm with X" T-shirts. They're also available for pregnant women, it seems. This one made us cringe, hard. The luck of the Irish might be strong, but this shirt does not go hard at all.
If anything, it makes us question the people who'd buy it to begin with. They're just so childish and not at all funny, and let's not talk about where the eyes go when someone reads the text. Thank you, next.
This Is Way More Information Than We Have Ever Asked For
You know what they say - Live, Laugh, Load. Why do people insist on using the most inappropriate themes for announcing their pregnancies online? Do they think we won't know how babies are made? The entire collage is just so, so cringey.
We mean, good for daddy for being in the trucking business. We know that ain't easy, being far away from home all the time, but, c'mon, keep some of the information to yourselves, okay? Let's try and maintain a little bit of the mystique without you using 35 puns about "load."
''From the People Who Brought You 'A Recently Updated Relationship Status''
We gotta give credit where credit's due - this one is clever, and quite original too, even if it turned out quite cringey in the end. We mean, take a second to read all the text on there.
Yeah. That's one way to share your unplanned parenthood with all of your Facebook friends and family. At least they'll all definitely know to tune in to the movie's follow-up. We have a gut feeling that part two in the series will be even better, even if the production team is a bit subpar.
Ah Yes, The Two Genders - Witches and Wizards
Harry Potter is one of the most influential book series of the 21st century. With the first book having been released in 1997, many of the once-young readers of the series are now in fact adult enough to have children of their own.
It was only a matter of time, then, before a picture like this made its way to everyone's Facebook feeds. We just have to wonder if they're gonna name the kid Harry or Hermione based on the kid's gender. Whatever it is, please don't name the baby Hagrid.
Well, at Least They Didn't Start a Forest Fire
In case you were wondering, when the hotdog is not in the bun, it means the bun is female! We're really happy that the Mama T-shirt was worn - otherwise we would’ve had no idea who this woman was.
The couple got a lot of comments from angry Instagram users about them implying that girls are "people with missing pieces." We have to agree, the execution leaves a lot to be desired. Oh well, maybe for the next bun.
The Family so Nice They Accidentally Expanded It Twice
Using your child to gather likes is always cringe material, especially when you sit him next to a letterboard that reads as, basically, "oops." We know, sometimes protection doesn't really-- protect, but that's not the first thing you usually tell people when you have a baby on the way, right?
There's nothing wrong with just saying, "Hey, we're expecting baby #2!" We don't really need to know if it was on purpose or not. Well, we hope they at least didn't forget to protect their son from the sun.